What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
