I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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