i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
