His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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