There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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