No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
