I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize