Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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