My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
