You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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