i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize