He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
