i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm too high and old for this...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
