I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
