I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
