Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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