I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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