I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
