Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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