I can't breathe out the right side of my face
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize