The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
