We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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