It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
