Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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