Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
it glows. i had to have it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
