singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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