I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
