Screwed.edu
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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