I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize