were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
My feet surprised me
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
