That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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