dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize