Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
