In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
