Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
