BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
