Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize