whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
