omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize