Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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