Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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