The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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