I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
