I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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