how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
