His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
