lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
