tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
