Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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