Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
