my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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