Whod you bang
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
