I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize