I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
