around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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