I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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