Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
