Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
how drunk are you?
Several
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
