well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
