Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school

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(630): View more from Illinois

just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one

(609): View more from New Jersey

ravioli

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'

(860): View more from Connecticut

where do you find these guys?

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(713): View more from Texas

Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.

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(425): View more from Washington

Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.

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