Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
