If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
