Dual....:-)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
