There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
