not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
