So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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