I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
