belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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